Impassioned

Miss Marianne Dashwood: my newest inspiration.

I watched the newer BBC version of Sense and Sensibility last night, and fell wholly in love.

Marianne is the second daughter of three, and has notions that are far ahead of her time and her age. She wears a scarf on her head and has hair to match her personality. She is sixteen, and just moved to a cottage on the ocean. She falls head first into love with the man who rescued her from the rain and imminent sickness on the hillside after she has fallen and sprained her ankle. She and her younger sister get caught in the rain, because Marianne wanted to see the countryside. Who should come and find her in her distress but--the dashing Mr. Willoughby himself. In one motion, he sweeps her into his arms and into his heart. He is charming, experienced, delightful, and entirely unconventional--for this Marianne lets her passion fly.

We all know the story. Ends up, Willoughby leaves on short notice, Marianne is desperately hopeless without her lover, and althewhile, the older sister finds out he went off and impregnated another girl. Marianne sees him again and knows nothing, only that she wants to be with him. She hears of this, and after nights of tears and days of sadness, she uses her better judgement and rids her life of him. Mr. Wonderful--the always-in-the-background-waiting Colonel Brandon steps in and shows her a steady, respectable love. Miss Dashwood returns his love and 'they all live happily ever after'.

So what do we all love so much about Mr. Willoughby? After all, isn't he the one who broke the good girl's heart and left another with child? Oh yes--that's the one. And yet, he is still the intriguer, the romantic, the passionate, the one we all wish we had. He steals our hearts and our good sense all in the same, and yet we fall for him. Do away with the gentleman everyone loves and respects. I want the one who is a little risky; 'little rough-around-the-edges; mysterious. What's the fun without excitement and adventure? No thanks, I'll take my own breed of male, not the one destined to me since birth. Goodbye Mr. Steady, Hello Visionary.

Not. Mm...yes. That's what my heart is dictating to my brain; the brain to the heart, though--well, that's a little tougher. 'I wants nights full of passion, days of adventure, no strings--just warm, summer rain. And then I thought'...what about a family? What about children, a home, friends? Where is commitment and responsibility in that way of life--how would we ever manage to lead a life worth replicating? To duplicate myself, I must become someone who sets a standard of what is good and what is wrong. This I can not do on my own--such as it is, I desire someone who works on a whim and is adventurous--who I really need, though, is probably someone more compliant than contumacious.

Maybe, just maybe, there's somebody whose passion is indelible and virtue unforgettable. Henceforth goes the journey.