10.10.10.
my feet hurt.
our fridge is jammed full of amazing yummy food.
the top little cake, grapes galore, lots of desserts, scones,
rehearsal dinner italian. lots of cheese. lots of fruit.
lots of really delicious stuff i haven't allowed myself to have for weeks.
i lost 10 pounds for this wedding.
i am a sister in law.
i have a new brother.
i have not lost a sister, or at least not for long.
the timing of the wedding was perfect. to the dot of the schedule.
70 helpers.
yes, 40 of those are my cousins. ages 24 to 14 months.
10 servers, in pretty aprons mom slaved over for weeks and weeks.
they were such gracious, giving, competent help.
i didn't shed a tear the entire day.
i secretly wish i had; during my toast, walking down the aisle,
dad walking autumn down the aisle, or even at their dance.
tears are romantic. and beautiful.
i cried a lot yesterday. with autumn.
and heartfelt and a connexion.
i leave at 2:55 tomorrow afternoon, and go back to regular life.
the most momentous day in autumn's life just occurred,
and i have to leave home and do life regularly again.
WHY?
i am now the only sister.
ryan takes care of autumn now.
now, mommy and daddy are the caretakers of solely me.
i am the only on awake in this house full of 12 people.
ryan and my hands are the same size.
autumn's, too.
we're all sevens.
his ring fit on my ring finger.
that would be awkward.
i put Ry's ring on my left middle before the ceremony,
but halfway through i realized it had gotten stuck.
on my finger.
it was really hot.
and i was holding this monstrous bouquet.
with discreet-ness,
i gracefully yanked it off and stuck it on top of my purity ring,
which i had changed to my right ring finger instead of my left,
so nobody would even have the slightest thought that i was not single.
i caught the bouquet.
oh my goodness, i caught the bouquet.
the bouquet is in a vase in my room.
it's adorable.
how perfect is it that i catch the bouquet in the bouquet toss
at my sister's wedding,
that i'm maid of honor in.
and dude, i was frantically looking for
the toss bouquet fractions of a minute before she threw it:
my heels were strewn to the side of my table,
so i clambered barefoot through the little rocks and oak leaves to fetch it from its
handy water vase behind the canyon creekbed, right behind autumn's seat,
exactly where it should be.
and i handed it to autumn.
and ran and threw my shoes on as i was heading out to
stand in the middle of the dance floor.
i put my hands up.
and blinked the very instant she threw it.
that was dumb, i thought.
and next thing i knew,
i feel this thing squishing into my hands.
it is super soft.
and cassi and allison, two of my dearest friends, have a few fingers on it.
but both of my hands are totally and completely wrapped around the flowers.
they laugh and smile huge at me and say 'its all yours!!'
and dude, how perfect it was:
--it was all mine, it's my only sister's wedding,
and i'm maid of honor.
maybe i really will be next, like i said in my speech.
maybe i should blink more often.
though i was not first, oh dang i could be next.
WHO?
no thanks.
i don't want to know.
miss independent here is staking her clame on noone.
AND she has proven that she does not need a man, or his arm, to
help her walk down a grassy slope in front of 200 people.
in heels.
by herself.
nope.
she does it by herself.
and then very happily takes the best man's arm
and walks up the aisle with him
when its all over.
good thing Justin's such a gentleman, or else i might have fallen off
of the rocks. in my heels. onto my face. oh, what a scene.
phew.
but, we traversed the rock outcropping up to its scaliest heights,
and therefure led the rest of thre bridal party to do the same.
the groomsmen really did their job well.
the getaway car, cute little teddy roma the red tacoma / ted / Ryan's car,
was decorated quite nicely.
and quite cleanly, too.
surprising.
and Justin, what was that verse you had in mind?
best man and maid of honor: to the rescue.
you kept it clean, and i kept it under 4 minutes.
we are a bomb team.
and they were totally personal.
and made everyone cry.
that was fun, wasn't it?
thanks, Kim. you're a trooper.
who was the blonde, tatooed one on Ry's side? or the dark one, sitting next to him?
they caught my eye.
or, my---me---caught their eye.
my eyes saw their eyes staring at my eyes.
lets hope it was my eyes.
comment:
my face did not feel like it was about to split.
at all.
good thing. that would not have been pleasant.
my face did not split from a fall on the rock
[Ryan's finger already had that one covered]
nor from an over-smiling reactant disorder.
my face was radiating, you say?
thank you, that's really kind.
i do believe it was,
for my smile was not posed.
not for one minute.
i am so happy.
"i could not have asked for a better man for my sister"
it's 1 AM on Autumn and Ryan's wedding day.
va-va-voom.
how awesome for them.
hawaii.
kauai.
penthouse suite.
ocean.
beach.
"a good 12 days".
delightful.
half the suitcase.
oooh baby...er,
not.
no neices and nephews quite yet.
i need to pay rent. it is now late.
does it count that my landlords were at the wedding?!
i was in my dress for 11 hours today.
and in my shoes for 6.
3 inch heels. thick ones, cute ones. comfy ones.
but not for 6 hours.
thus,
my feet hurt.
and i'm going to bed.
on my hard mattress.
that's not even really mine.
on the bed, that's cleared.
i haven't seen it since i moved in august.
i have been home since then,
it's just been covered stock full in wedding stuff.
it wasnt even 'adria's room' anymore.
it had become known as 'the wedding room'.
that's great, huh?
here's your room, and here's mom and dad's couch.
and aunt Jeanne probably has lunch. probably.
and they (Jeanne and my landlord) fed us lunch today!
but that was planned.
it was delicious, although i didn't get to eat very much,
which was extremely sad for me.
when i realized it later.
although i definitely sneaked some in between the pictures and ceremony.
then Justin called 'adria!' 'adria!' all over the house.
apparently, it was time to be announced for tea.
so, we were perfectly on time
(in the fashion of the day)
and i on his arm,
we waltzed into the reception area.
and voila, there were our seats.
and his guest.
and my brothers.
so you see, i really do want it.
just not now.
not yet.
not quite.
but sometime.
that's for certain.
with all of my soul.
and so,
i will be content to not wait
around until my Ryan comes along.
I will...we'll see what i do.
all sorts of things.
all sorts of life.
all sorts of joy-
and adventure
and excitement
and travel
and thinking
and sharing
and caring-
and loving.
loving.
love.
"all because two people fell in love"
-mighty fast.
10.10.10.
